No Matter What

It was the first concert that I’d been at since my best friend, Rachelle, had died about seven months ago. My other friends who had been dealing with the grief of her sudden death at sixteen years old much better than I had convinced me that the annual town concert would be great. All of our families would be there, though most of them tended to stay by the picnic tables mingling while us teens made our way through the mob in front of the stage. Each year was a new band, and they were always awesome, and usually a great up and coming band!
Even though it seemed as though my heartache over Rachelle’s death would never go away I eventually was able to shove my sadness to the back of my mind for brief periods of time. Everybody from town was going, even Rachelle’s parents and younger sister would be there, and if they could do it, then so could I. Jared, the son of my parents best friends who had been like a brother to me since I was born, had promised to stay with me the entire time. Our friends Sydney, Alyssa, and Mark sat with us during the picnic too.
There was so much hype about this year’s picnic and concert that when the day finally arrived I was actually somewhat excited for it. My parents, my twin kid brothers, and I loaded up in the van and drove down the street to pick up Jared and his parents before setting off on the half hour long ride to the festivities. My mind wandered, and I wasn’t too sad for the majority of the day.
The afternoon was awesome. My family, friends, and I all played the usual games like the three legged race, the sack race, water balloon toss, and so many others. There was an abundance of food, as there is every year. Hot dogs, hamburgers, potato salad, coleslaw, watermelon, brownies, the works. I felt such a great sense of nostalgia, and though there were a few times throughout the day that I would look over my left shoulder to say something to Rachelle and a sudden swoop of misery would descend on me for a few moments before I was able to recompose myself, it turned out to be great.
Around the time the sun began to set everybody started to clean up the mess from dinner, the band began to start setting up on stage.
“Here, Mom, let me get that,” I said to my mom who was trying to carry six or seven dirty plates and a potato salad bowl in the same hand.
“No, no, no, you go on to the front of the stage with your friends, we’re fine here.”
“Are you sure, Mrs. Hale?” Jared asked.
“Yeah, we could stay and help if you wanted,” Sydney offered, sounding reluctant, but willing to help anyway.
“Oh it’s fine, you five go ahead down, have a good time. I’m going to keep the twins up here with us. Why don’t you meet us here after the concert is over?”
“Thanks, Mrs. Hale!” Mark and Alyssa said at the same time.
“Thanks, Mom,” I smiled and we all headed towards the stage.
A huge crowd had already formed, and we had to push and shove our way towards the front. It was nothing new, the same thing happened every year, the difference this year being that we didn’t have flamboyant Rachelle here to lead us through. We were usually pretty lucky, though, almost every year we had been able to push our ways to the very front of the crowd, and this year was the same. Adrenaline pumped through my veins as the band began to play. This year’s band wasn’t as well known, but from the start of the concert they sounded awesome. The band name was Fatal Formation. It was such a cool event. The stage was full sized, with camera screens on both sides and camera men in every direction to capture the faces of everyone in our town.
The first few songs were original songs written by Fatal Formation, and they were fist pumping, jump up and down songs. Already we were in love with the band. Throughout the whole concert they went back and forth between original songs and covers of popular songs. When the lead singer announced that this next song would be the last there was a collective groan from the entire crowd.
“Hey everyone! You all have been such an awesome audience tonight! We’d like to leave you with a cover of “Open Arms” by Journey. We know it’s kind of old, but we hope that you like it!”
My breathing started to come heavily as they played the first few notes of the ballad. This had been Rachelle’s favorite song, and even before she died I had always connected it to my memories of things we did together. Tears welled up in my eyes, and by the time that the first line of lyrics had been sung I was sobbing.
Jared turned and looked at me and immediately he embraced me. I buried my face into his shoulder and continued to cry.
“I miss her so much,” I managed to say between gasps. Jared murmured something in my ear that I’m sure was meant to be comforting, but I couldn’t hear exactly what he was saying over the volume of the speakers. I cried and cried, even after the song was over. As the Fatal Formation began to leave the stage the crowd cheered “One more song!” over and over again until the band started back up.
“This one is to you,” the lead singer said, “To that girl on the screen who’s been crying into her guy’s shoulder since the beginning of “Open Arms”. It’s going to be alright, especially when you have friends like him who are going to be there no matter what.” I looked up from Jared’s shoulder to see my tear streaked face on the camera screens as the band began to play “The Heart of Life” by John Mayer.
I was shocked that they had seen me, and somewhat embarrassed, but most of all I was thankful. Thankful that I had people like Jared in my life, who were there whenever and wherever I needed them. Thankful that I had what time there was with Rachelle, and thankful that the memories of her will never fade. I was thankful for the abundance of good things in my life, despite the blindness that I oh so often have to it all. As this blanket of thankfulness enveloped me, I buried my head into Jared’s shoulder once more, and let out a few more tears. I still missed Rachelle, I would no matter what, and in addition to the heartache I was feeling, the sudden wave of emotions that flowed through me brought tears to my eyes. I’m not quite sure what exactly the tears were for, but I do know that they weren’t tears of grief.
That was the most amazing town picnic and concert ever. I’m not quite sure if I can say that it was the best, since Rachelle was missing, but I do know that it’s what caused me to be able to start the healing process of losing her. Rather than beginning to cry whenever I hear “Open Arms” now, I’m filled with my wonderful memories of my best friend, and great thoughts of the people who care for me always.